One thing that is just for you.
As a mother of a young child, I don’t get much time just for myself. Even when my son is off being adventurous with one of his aunts or uncles, I’m still being a mom.
Most people say to not sweat the little things, if there are toys to clean up, but you want to take a relaxing bath–do it. The toys can wait. For me, I find that to be counter-productive. Not that I like baths at all, but even after a nice long shower, if I come out of the bathroom to a messy house my anxiety jumps right back up.
This probably has a lot to do with how anal my mother was about keeping the house clean (read: spotless, as if the Queen was about to visit) when I was growing up.
So, I guess the one thing that is just for me is having time to clean my way. When the hubby (or anyone really) takes the boys for a couple of hours and I get to smoke a joint, blast some music, and clean up at my pace to my satisfaction.
A person who loves You
Chris. He has been my rock for almost six years now. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs, but that’s what life is about.
He has seen me at my best, and at my worst (labour is both beautiful and ugly at the same time)! He has caused some wounds, but from those I’ve been able to build a stronger exterior.
I love him more than anyone else (well, except our son) and I know he feels the same way.
So, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything (personal or book review), and I wanted to give a bit of an explanation.
A lot of big things have happened for me over the past few months and I am working on writing those experiences out, but for now here is the short versions.
I was fired from my job–minor customer dispute nothing horrible on my part, but I was super stressed there, so, hey good riddance. [Beginning of April]
I left the country for the first time ever to go to Disney World with my son. Florida was amazing and we had a blast. [End of April/ Beginning of May]
My future brother in law was arrested. (No I won’t go into too much detail, but yep it sucks.) [Beginning of June]
I went to New Brunswick to meet my brother, whom I just found out about (and he’s the same age as me!), and see some family I haven’t seen in five years. [Middle of July]
All the while I’ve been struggling with severe anxiety that I’ve never really told anyone about, which all changed a couple of days ago when I saw a Psychologist for the first time.
I know I have a lot of work to do, mental illness doesn’t just go away after you tell someone (oh god, I wish) but I feel like a weight has been lifted–at least a little.
I went far too long not really realizing that my ‘issues’ were not something to be ashamed of and that I CAN get help for, and start to control them.
More to come.