The holidays are always the best and the worst time of the year for me. I love the romantic side; the theory behind the holiday if you will. But I detest the actual holiday. We spend so much time and money on presents, and wrapping presents, wondering if the recipient will like/want/enjoy it, and two seconds after unwrapping, it’s already over.
New Years Eve is another big let down. The only times I remember being super excited (ok, more like ecstatic) about midnight was the couple of times I was super drunk at midnight. When you are that drunk, everything is exciting.
Every other time it felt like any other night.
This year was no exception. It was fun, getting drunk and playing cards with my fiancé and his brothers, ringing in the new year with my over tired son and niece.
But the expectation that I grew up with wasn’t there. I suppose I allowed myself to put such a high level of excitement on New Years that I can almost never live up to it. Or maybe society as a whole shouldn’t make the new year out to be a huge deal. After all; it happens every year.
Anyways. My ‘new year’ is usually in September. I always found it relaxing to start fresh each and every school year. With new school goals, and new school supplies. It’s my favourite time of year.
There is this girl I know, who I’ve gone above and beyond to help. With things that I should feel no remorse if I didn’t. The only reason I’ve continued helping is that she is my brother-in-law’s ‘girlfriend’. I say ‘girlfriend’ because they only started dating after he was arrested. All she does is talk to him on the phone, use his car– which is under my insurance, take his money, and complain. She doesn’t work and her daughter is in school; yet she can’t do anything for herself. I’m so freaking tired of her shit. Today, she rear ended someone and used my name! What the fuck. I don’t need this shit in my life. Yet my MIL basically guilts me into continuing to let her drive the car.
Fuck. Sorry for the rant. I try my best to not let it get to me, but some days are harder.
I get tension headaches, sometimes a little Tylenol and a self massage will kick it to the curb. Other times forces beyond my control line up and I am left with a massive tension headache that seams like it will never go away.
Big rain/wind storm, plus mother nature’s monthly visit, and I’ve been left with a four day headache that shows no sign of going away.
I don’t want to run to my doctor for everything, and I know for a chronic problem some lengthy headaches are to be expected but man it sucks.
It’s also triggered a bout of minor depression, I can’t read, write or even watch tv right now, focusing on anything for too long hurts really bad. So I’m a little out of sorts from losing my three biggest distractions.
I spent the day slowly writing this out, just to let you know that I am ok, I haven’t fallen of the face of the earth, and I will be playing catch up with my blogs as soon as this clears.